she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
its time to go be "that drunk guy nobody knows"....again.
the only reason why im excited to go home for break is to finally eat real fucking food and have normal bowel movements.
It was all about her orgasm last night. I felt like a human dildo.
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
Last thing I remember is beer bonging sangria. Dear God.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
Is there a word in the English dictionary for impressed, yet disgusted?
I think the word you're looking for is flabbergasted.
He has a burner phone just to send dick pics. It's revolutionary
How many more times can I say I need to get laid before you kill me?
Stop calling my penis "Fat Jesus"
Come on in and take your pants off
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