My boss' voice literally gives me gas
Does my surprise involve the use of a safe word?
Probably.
I'm in.
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
one of my coworkers is shitshow drunk, getting naked. she's about to ride the bull.
i was just going to ask if it would be cool for me to come and have a beer...
it's total chaos here. i may ride the bull... i'll be visible.
You leave a trail of fuck everywhere you go
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I started my period on international women's day. It's like the world is congratulating me and punishing me for being a woman at the same time
We got cut off at a bar at 4pm. We aren't human
No I didn't say it was safe, I said it was legal. I didn't say anything about it being safe. It's not my fault if you weren't listening properly.
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize