girls mom is dying from cancer and she msgs me for a booty call. I guess people cope with their situations differently.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Bring your kids so they can distract our kids so we can drink beer in peace.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
I don't know what the bubonic plague feels like- but I'm gonna guess its something like this.
I sleep better at night when I win things. I never really weep for others.
Based on his face I'm positive he has a beautiful penis.
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
I got married tonight..
I'd like to first of all congratulate you on your marriage. Secondly, probably one of the best drunk texts I've ever received. Unless you were sober, then that text was awkward.
Randomize
