2:23 am: come sit on my lap i have a stick that'll keep you in place
They should really pass out barf bags in church
I put the beer in my little red riding hood basket.
My crowning drunk achievement from that night was donating $5 to the Obama campaign.
You're perfect
I was gonna buy a KIA, but then I remembered how awesome the sex was in the back of a Hyundai so I went with that.
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
we played animal sounds and i linked arms with her cuz we were both cats....fate and my community college drama teacher have chosen my one night stand
She actually purred while I was balls deep in her! I have never been so proud to buy plan b at 6:30 in the morning.
Like when I see him I look straight through his appearance and just envision a big walking penis.
went out to hit golf balls, ended up doing splits at the bar. you're a bad influence.
You said if the geese can walk on the lake so can I.
My mom heard me having sex with my boyfriend but thought it was the neighbors. She commented on how quick it was. I just nodded and changed the subject
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
Randomize
