I got into an eating contest with Christina. I ate 6 oranges.
Why? Who won?
we don't know. we ran out of oranges.
Kelly went into her room with Dave, but is moaning Tommy...
what do you mean I googled how to give an awesome blow job?
That's why Kanye is a gay fish.
Hold on im havin a staring contest with my cat
We discussed our relationship status. We're dating exclusively. And the conversation was followed by him saying "C'mon baby, let's make you orgasm!" .....I'm gonna marry him.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
we found you in the closet, clutching coats that werent yours for stability
Just found the cutest bag of coke under my bed. I'm going to get fucked up and bleach the cat vomit out of my sheets.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He just kept yelling cup my balls to everyone they kicked us out after 20 min
We took her out for fresh air and next thing we knew, she was stumbling around the backyard picking dead leaves up off the ground and putting them in her shirt to "save them".
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I JUST BROKE A NAIL MASTURBATING. WTF I could even enjoy my orgasm bc now I'm gonna have to spend $50 on my nails.
What the fuck was I thinking eating an entire tub of potato salad on acid. My stomach today bro
Randomize
