you just broke rule number 1. If you can't lift her up don't date her
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
So you plan on doing double washing machine sex? Like. A double date. But with sex. On a washing machine..?
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
I just took my birth control with a water bottle I found in my purse with vodka in it in Spanish class. 10am is still too early for me.
And drunk me decided to play keep away with sober me's dignity
Instead of sending me a picture of his dick, he sent me a drawing of it on drawsomething. This game is getting out of control.
She poured beer through the deck into the hot tub. She called it a deck shot. It was horrifying but super awesome at the same time.
I drew a nude short fat middle aged woman today and liked it
It was honestly one of my favorite days in art class except for the 20 min she faced me and kept looking at me and we made eye contact
We were Chugging coronas for the soul purpose of launching limes out of the 3rd story window, I'd say it was a good weekend
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
I'm currently sitting at your kitchen table eating chicken nuggets that I dug out of the trash and thinking about how much I need to get laid.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
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