okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
Yeah but his hole really smells sometimes
he is training for a marathon but can't last more than five minutes on top. worst tuesday night ever
I can't believe I am actually paying for a night in a hotel for my parents so I can throw a party the night before Christmas Eve. I also can't believe they think it's their Christmas present.
the boys love us. they call us "the stoner girl suite down the hall". not very inspired, but flattering nonetheless
The moment you realize you should grow up: you're snorting your fathers percocet script with your old health insurance card, while your parents are on a 10 day cruise in the carribean...
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
Seriously I can't get a booty call for some baked goods.
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
