Yay Minnesota! I can't believe there's now a US Senator who has taken more acid than we have
Just mindlessly walked into the mens bathroom. My vagina has now become its own independent being, looking for penises. I'm just along for the ride.
Every time I remember you're bi, the world gets a little brighter.
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
Tomorrow night wont work for me. I'm talking with Bryan about marriage and I dont want to have a shroom hangover.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
threw up on my 7.30 AM placement test. Never again
Why is there puke in my guitar?
Because you puked in your guitar.
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
You don't come back from leaving a bag of shit on someone's counter Jill
I was on antibiotics for a bladder infection and couldn't drink and you told me there was no longer room in your life for me.
The tamale guy is fucking with me, I wanna sleep in he wakes me up; early wake-n-bake and he's late and I'm hungry
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
Randomize
