why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
hes either a crazy bad problem or a crazy good orgasm. I just can't decide which one.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
I flashed some kids doing a church car wash. I feel like I really improved the quality of their lives.
he stole a smokey from the street meat vendor and put it in his pocket when she wasn't looking and now we're drinking avocado margaritas
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You said "I'm not gonna waste my last condom on you" last night.
Who knew sons of strippers would be really feminist boyfriends?
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
There might be a dead possum in your bed, your roomate is extremely distressed!
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
