roommate just walked in on us. two and a half times. the half, she just knocked, sighed, and walked away.
Is it bad that when my prof gave examples of "stalking" behavior, I either have done or would do most of them?
I couldn't sleep so I drunk ellipticaled for an hour. Worst. Idea. Ever.
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
His body is just chiseled out of sex. I would let that man do anything to my body. Including fuck me while my parents watch
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I have managed to reach the 'after meth poster look' before lunch here...
He gave me the award for most entertaining blow job. That should count for something.
Using all my books as packing buffer for my liquor bottles. And you said being an English major was worthless.
Sorry for pissing on y'all's floor last night
I would professionally fuck the shit out of her
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
You asked him if he would have sex with you under the dinosaur. He declined and then you started crying, blaming the sand.
Randomize
