they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
you'd think he'd be slightly more humble with a penis that small
Sorry I didn't pick up for your booty call. I usually am asleep at 4:00 on Thursdays. Like a normal person.
btw im using a cooler as a purse cause i love string cheese
Itd be like fucking a waterbed thats been locked in a barn for two years.
Where in the FUCK do you get your analogies
I woke up to realize my keys were on the front porch. Also so was I. So close yet so far
I am not working on the very first day I can throw up alcohol that I legally bought and drank.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Beer and xanax may be a bad combo, but I don't really care due to the beer and the xanax.
I'm listening to Michael Jackson while drinking vodka, alone. Honestly, l wish I could Moonwalk my way back to when I knew wtf was going on in my life.
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
Starting this Monday as I always do
With a desperate plea for help
I need you to teach me how to be roommates with somebody I'm not fucking.
Is it acceptable to bring pot to a funeral or am I going to have to do this shit sober?
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
Randomize
