Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
He's a good guy, we stopped by his old church.
And you didn't burst into flames?
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
it's my sixth sense. If there's an orgy within 20 miles of me i'll know about if. Or be a part of it.
This just became a night full of adventures...and by adventures I mean hitting people with my car
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
she's just been through a whole lot lately. When the crazy starts leaking out we give her vodka and lock her in the room with all the pillows.
so that's what that room is for...
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n
Parade of Dicks...that's what I'm calling 2017
FYI brushing your teeth & taking off your makeup does not erase the shame from the night before
Randomize