Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
I've done 29 out of the 30 things to do to a naked man according to Cosmo. I don't know if that makes me innovative or slutty.
Genius.
Do you remember giving me altiods and wishing me good luck on the walk home?
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
got into a fight with a bouncer over who's moustache is better again last night...
I stole an ensure out of their fridge and started chugging it. That was when Maria made me leave.
This is my transition from small talk texts to booty call texts. Coming over?
Quite the smooth talker. There in 5.
I don't think I even want to know why you are sending my husband pictures of your nutsack.
They said you bought the guy a shot and was talking about being Greek and then all of the sudden just puked all in their pitcher of beer and got kicked out of the bar.
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Waking up next to a guy you don't remember going home with and the first thing you say is: where is my tiara? = successful birthday
She wants to have a threesome with Taylor Swift. I think this is the kind of love my grandparents spoke of.
I dont even know what happened i just remember waking up with beer cans outlining my body...
Randomize
