her vagine was all disorganized.
can't remember last night but the beers were $3.50, so i can count how many I had by counting my quarters
i can afford to take several trips up and down the parkway right now if I wasn't still hanging over my toilet
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
The usual. Woke up on a dog bed with peeps and $11.
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
He offered me a ride home but i walked. He lives by an elementary school so a 10 yr old safety officer helped me across the street during my walk of shame
I feel like I knew it was fucked up, but feared that god would take my dick away if I didn't use it last night.
have to get expensive furniture. after that study abroad now at least six things at ikea are named after guys i slept with
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
So how do I get back in good graces for trying to trade you for superbowl tickets?
She made me pour olive oil on her.
I have rug burns on my nipples. Thanks for being an awesome wing girl.
There is no way entering a gas station bathroom memorializing an alien abduction in rural New Hampshire is a good idea.
Randomize
