Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
Guy at red light looking at porn. I'm waiting for him to look over at me so I can shake my head and he can feel bad
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
85% positive I just found a hair of a certain variety wayyy in the back of my mouth between two teeth while flossing.
bitch got booty called while we were making out. and then she actually left.
Hey got that picture this morning. 1. clean your room 2.what happened to your nail? and 3. your penis is amazing,.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
Oh that's what I forgot last night.. To make out with her.
I did not get laid last night bc my condoms were too small. I'm allowed to be dreary
Guess who just bought an ounce of pot via Paypal, and paid for it with my airline Visa card to earn miles?
Congratulations. That business degree is finally worth every penny it cost you.
It was a blast. I was going to say that throwing up in the airport bathroom wasn't classy, but it's classier than quietly puking into a fast food cup while in your seat during takeoff...
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
Either I'm getting old or the shit show is playing earlier than it used to...
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