Totally saw a hot amputee. I think this is called character growth.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
his pick up line was "wanna get a pizza and fuck?"
did it work
that's not the point...
Internet sex stories have completely ruined the word sopping for me.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
We got a 5L jug of wine for 3 Euro. Italy was a good choice.
College has taught me that the "best idea" is rarely the fun one.
This is true but you can't really get fired from college
Sounds good. I will just get tanked here and wear this batman mask.
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
He was having Sex and you yelled 'hot and dangerous!" and he responded with "if you're one of us then roll with us!" when he went to he bathroom I saw her getting dressed, looking mortified.
I still have your make up all over the inside of my thighs from the face sitting. Free tonight?
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
The CEO is puking on the sidewalk and the HR director just offered me coke. Engineers have the best parties
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
Randomize
