You're my little dorito
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
this whole healthcare thing got me thinking.. without knowing it my parents are now going to be paying for my dealer to be able to live..
I know we had a good night last night because his turtle was half asleep chewing on the used condom.
If we were to wake in ur bed together, what are the 3 words you would say to me?
Get out now.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
She may be a slut, but at least she's a dedicated slut. She's always super tan and has her shit shaved in really cool designs.
rigging a system to keep my jello shots cold in class. important election day work.
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize
