He passes out, I smoke his kush. All's fair in love and a disappointing lack of sex.
And i didn't ask you to do that, You showed your penis at your own free will.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I've never had goosebumps on my dick before. It was definitely not a bad feeling.
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
Now in just stoned listening to my dads philosophical idea about public transit
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
I woke up at 3:30 this morning to pee. Luckily, I didn't have to travel far as I was asleep in my CLOSET on my yoga mat. Good news is I had a pillow...
Oh the best part of having sex with him was that he made me a smoothie after
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
When they said they were gonna tattoo each other's gamer tags on their asses, I knew I no longer had a boyfriend.
Randomize
