Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
i swear i just saw perry the platypus. the fuck dude. i shouldnt even know who that is
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
His cat watched us the ENTIRE time. Every time I glanced over the poor kitty looked at me as if I were pelvic thrusting her father to death.
The girl in line in front of me at the grocery store is buying wine, m&m minis, a toothbrush, and condoms. Is it inappropriate to high-five her?
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
Couch. On fire.
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
