i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
Imagine if sharks could walk on land...scary.
You fell asleep mid BJ last night. I put your pants back on you. My ego is pretty bruised this morning.
at russian wedding, no open bar. bottles of vodka at table. getting to work tomorrow may be an issue.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
Threesome in a minivan. New low
I apologize for excluding you. On a better note: the stripper that made out with my wife friend requested me on facebook
Just an FYI if we break up I'm going to sleep with your cousin or who ever my dealer is.
CAN I EVER JUST MAKE OUT EITH SOMEONE AND NOT GET FRIEND REQUESTED BY THEM THE NEXT DAY.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Blood work from physical was all good, apparently heavy alcohol use agrees with me
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
I gave him a BJ in the shower
I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
