When we talk. Remind me of these topics, photoshop, my bday, threesomes, and cherekee indians. I swear these are real topics...
New topics to add when we talk, sweden, boxing, and the band journey
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
He tried to eat me out in the bath... I said it was a bad idea, but he said it was good snorkelling practice for vaca.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
Excuse me while I download incredibly disturbing porn until I'm more ashamed of myself than of my country.
I know you're on a date and I should leave you alone but about twenty minutes ago I realized I haven't been spanked in years so if you're still looking for a birthday present, you know, consider it.
I just put Gatorade in my wine, cause electrolytes, you know.
I could have been on my second lucrative divorce by now, but nooooo, I had to be a strong independent woman.
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
I woke up and saw that my last google search was "Bacon neck".
Randomize
