we didnt fuck last night. again. seriously, his place is like where dreams go to die.
I just realized I used lady gaga lyrics in my research paper on marie antoinette
This spray tan I used isn't working out. I spent an hour exfoliating and rubbing the damn stuff in with rubber gloves. I wanted the alluring, sun-kissed, sexy look. I've achieved smelling like burnt popcorn and the cats won't stop licking me. I'm a salt lick for cats.
She asked me to go inside, make myself a drink and slip into something a little more naked.
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
The alcohol tastes like we did a beer run at the nail salon
I slept naked with a towel wrapped around my waist in case I pissed the bed again
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
I just have to point out that once I typed "fa" my phone filled in "fatass"
Im including "no monologues past 1am" in the list of apartment rules. Theatre majors dude.
For starters i called the cops on myself for trying to destroy the ladys decorations
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
Why can't he just dump me? This is like a baby seal clubbing the hunter
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
