omg, I know. It's so embarrassing that we've both had his penis in parts of our bodies
Hey a mouth doesn't really count. A vagina counts more.
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
all her text said was "asdfhdaufhudshfuds" and i knew that meant come over
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
oh my god, there is an imprint from the nuva ring in the christmas card my mom sent me. merry christmas.
and this is why we should make december sharting awareness month.
Were at her birthday dinner and her dad keeps buying me shots saying when I was your age I fucked the shit outta girls
Hahahahahaha remind him your dating his daughter
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
Looking for my adderal, only found acid. What a shame
Im eating leftover Easter ham in a bubble bath. What has my life come to?
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
I'm getting reacquainted with drunk me. She has grown up a lot.
She was shaving her legs in the neighbors pool when we found her.
Where'd she get the razor?
Not the point.
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