wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
i found a roscoes card in my pocket that says 'fuck me bare fo $15.20'. Wow
is there an easy way to say "i didnt plan on sleeping with you until i saw how drunk you were" ?
I did what any insensitive guy would do bought her friends shots and tried to fuck them
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
Im gonna wear a random assortment of things for Halloween, guy with the most creative answer gets laid
Woke up with a text saying "when I get to see them titties again lil ma??" With 8 beads around my neck & an empty bottle of vodka in my arms.
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
you are the root of all my greats nights and my worsts decisions
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
I want to ride that like one of the Horsemen of the Apocalypse- with bourbon in hand and without mercy.
Randomize
