The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
How much do you charge for your Funyun and beer delivery service?
It seems that only way I've actually improved myself after 2 years of writing for the school newspaper is that I've mastered the art of descriptive words to improve my sexting skills
not even kidding I just received the single most greatest head I have ever had.. It was unreal. It was like stick my dick into a silk bag of puppy ears.
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
If I got paid for every bad decision I've made I would be one rich bitch by now
Blowing a married man is so much more important than a 12 year olds basketball game.
Wow just discovered I can communicate my favorite sex positions using only emojis god bless this age of technology
Haha idk you were stealing pizza dough at dominos
THIS IS NOT A LAUGHING MATTER, CAITLIN. MY PARENTS ARE FUCKING. LOUDLY.
Randomize
