Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
Even water is tasting like jack daniels
dude, when you're random girl from last night came down the stairs this morning she fell all the way down. I laughed. She just walked out. I hope shes ok. Tell her I give her a 10 for that landing though.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
I just realized that he was my first random hookup that didnt cause a massive breakup or divorce. Im starting to grow up
Whoever I saved in my phone as "Jackpot" last night has your keys.
The barista asked if I wanted my drink wet or dry, but all that came to mind was farts. You have ruined me.
I think I may have accidentally stepped in fire
I'm done being subtle here. MOVE INTO MY EXTRA BEDROOM SO WE CAN FUCK WHENEVER AND NOT HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT FINDING PEOPLE TO HAVE CASUAL SEX WITH.
you live like 200 miles from me and I have two years of school left
goddamnit stop pointing out all the flaws in my plan
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
I'm Michael Phelps, Olympic Champion.
Are you just smoking weed? Cause that's not actually a Michael Phelps costume
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
after last night, ive never not wanted to live so much in my life.
Randomize
