I can only date guys with blackberrys
I just decided its a new prereq to talk to me
yes i saw that this morning. it was my mailbox.
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
Rooting for you and your team in the Beer Olympics this afternoon...! Love you, Mom
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
Just got done fucking the squirter chick. She came when we were in a 69. I now know what it's like to be water boarded.
Woke up fully clothed in bed sleeping on my purse.....we're back!!!
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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