Is your liver wearing a sombrero yet?
No...more like a life jacket.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
My doc was like ur only supposed to have 6 sexual partners..thats just one semester at college
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
Just tried to use the bottle of Sprite in my car as mouthwash to get the taste of puke out of my mouth- it's half vodka. Puked again. Thanks man.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
so according the 72 facebook statuses i put up last night that i don't recall, i would say it was a success. how about you?
Speaking of testosterone. I saw a girl with a moustache thicker than one I can grow last night...
How do I respond to this?! It's not easy to say "you're hot & the sex was good, but outside the bedroom you scare me"
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
His sisters are going to have a heyday finding all those condoms in their bunk beds.
Randomize
