What started out as a threesome has become me sitting here watching them have sex... Can I get a ride home?
Theres been so much buildup for our genitals to meet, one or both of us is sure to be disappointed.
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
I'm not trying to alarm you guys, but I think I just swallowed a ketchup packet.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
I have a kicked-out-of-multiple-bars level hangover today
i turned around and there he was, right in my face. i was mid deep throat of a hot dog that i was eating with my hands and no bun. you win FSU, you win.
Her hookup left his underwear and shorts in the dorm last night... What he was wearing when he left, we may never know.
HE HAS CHALLENGED MY BADNESS. I MUST CONQUER ALL THAT QUESTIONS MY POWER. BRING FORTH THE TIT PICS.
I now know he's been cheating for a while. I also know HER name, address, phone number, Facebook account, religion and zodiac sign. I feel like I'm earning my restraining order. Point is, never fuck over a librarian.
She tied me to her bed using her honor chords. Thank god for graduation!
He just got back from doing field research studying wild chimpanzees in the goddamn jungle. Obviously I fucked him.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
I feel like you should store your weed in something that suits your personality. For example mines in a hollowed out disney princess book.
Randomize
