Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Then she called me a home wrecking whore.
dont they live in a condo? that doesnt count.
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
i was calling myself "cat the lion" and tried eating the computer mouse because i thought it was "my prey"
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
I don't care if shes your sisters age. Once someone is on my to do list theres only one way to get them off it
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Oh hell no my vagina is on that screenshot
Seriously I'm not after your cock. It's a nice bonus, like finding $20 in the dryer, but not the reason I hang out with you.
Tom just texted me he's Tindering from his hospital bed while they're running heart tests on him.
That's dedication to the game.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
The date did not go well. Turns out I once set her brother on fire.
You chipped your front tooth on the toilet bowl. Should I call your dentist?
Tonights mission: get trashed, smoke a bowl on top of the silo, get some dick. Not necessarily in that order.
Randomize
