I DID IT WITH MY SOCKS ON!
try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
It's like having an annoying little brother who wants to have sex with you
We were doing it doggy style, and I puked on the floor and started crying, he told me it was okay his cat would eat it... and if it would make me feel better we could do anal...
And they lived happily ever after....
I have your camera. You have 35 naked pictures of me. you're welcome.
can you put a coffee maker in the dish washer? yo know what, nvm i want to be surprised
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
He was streaking. We were hammered. We had roman candles. It only made sense to shoot them at him.
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
I JUST HAD A FLASH MEMORY OF DOING A SHOT OF WHISKEY WITH MY BEER YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO PUNCH ME IN THE FACE TO PREVENT THAT FROM HAPPENING.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
New Serial podcast is out. We can listen to it tonight instead of having sex.
He showed his fake to the cop and was like "does the coloring look off to you?"
Randomize