So I walked out of my room and there was my brother....standing naked
sometimes you just have to masturbate at your friend's house.
on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Are you pooping in the stall next to me?
Maybe....
Cause I just heard a fart and it sounded like one of your farts.
I tried to explain to him that we just wanted a stereotypical black friend to be in our group. He didn't take it too well... Never take me to the bar again.
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
NO I FORBID YOU. THERE ARE BETTER VIRGINITIES OUT THERE WORTH KIDNAPPING.
Today, my boyfriend informed me that I look like my dad when I orgasm
As an added realisation of today. If we used the last time I got laid as a conceiving date I would have a two week old baby. It's been too long...
CONGRATULATIONS! You have won: pictures of my nipples!
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I'm drunk enough to know I'm texting you and sober enough to know what I'm saying to you
i warned you not to do dabs 20 minutes before graduation. You never listen
Randomize
