Will you blow on my dice?
I would kick you in the vagina but I'm afraid I would lose my shoe.
So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
they're making a venn diagram comparing gummi bears against gummi worms...is this what i have to sit thru to get free weed????
In Berlin they just cured HIV with stem cells. I am hereby fucking anything that moves.
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
I'm still pretty stoned. There are mini rice cakes in my robe pocket to snack on in the shower.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
he was definitely tindering while i gave him head
I don't know man. I fell outside Pizza Hut and an employee had to perform first aid. But I think I got free pizza. So it was worth it.
my roommate woke me up with head. more awkward than it sounds.
honestly the most stressful part of moving is the chance my mom will find my vibrator
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
Randomize
