Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
at what point did putting a bag of doritos in the freezer seem like a really good idea?
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
Just got judged by the front desk clerk, 2 maids and a security guard at the Sheraton. I've decided to use this as a character building experience.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Rick just drank rum out of a dog bowl after a dog already drank out of it.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
Tuesday Boozeday turned into What-the-fuck-were-you-thinking Wednesday real fast.
And you will die and be carried in a backpack before I allow you not to comply in this tomfoolery.
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
He invites me over for to adderall and chill. Academic Tuesday
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
