I'm sorry that you just had your first misguided homo experience
I'm going to rape someone's good day.
u know whats better than using ur vibrator? using it w/ jeopardy on in the background and half moaning the correct final jeopardy question. yeah that just happened.
I'm spooning a three legged dog right now. Started drinking whiskey with Breakfast. Best part about being biracial is Irish cousins. Dog Pic Attahed
Stumbled into class and into a desk. When I fell my bottle broke in my backpack. I had to leave there was vodka everywhere.
literally hosing herself off in my back yard with the hose. i offered her the shower but she refused. that drunk.
is year to celebrate how much I love you, I made a mosaic of your penis with conversation hearts. it's in your mailbox.\n\nHAPPY VALENTINE'S DAY TO YOU
I'm not about to serve this country to fuckin not have rum and cheezits for breakfast
Every man needs a table where they can sit and reflect on the successful penile conquests of the day.
just walked across campus with a bottle of champagne in between my boobs. night two and the quest for classiness is already over
HE GAVE ME ONE OF HIS BEERS.
YOU'RE THE CHOSEN ONE.
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I think she tried to suffocate me with her tits...she almost succeeded.
Come eat Chinese buffet and watch us trip on acid. It'll be fun.
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
