Nothing ended up happening last night because he couldn't get my overalls or fanny pack off. I woke up this morning with one strap over my overall shorts on, my fanny pack wrapped around my chest, and the baby doll still tied to my hand. Ugh white trash parties!
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
If we could never, ever tell mike i pissed in his closet, that would be really really great
I'm sorry I ignored your high cries for help while you were grating cheese on my dog.
Idk if I woke up next to a cat or raccoon. either way it's purring.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I broke out the Krispy Kreme, and am possibly having random internet sex in less than an hour. I think I got this breakup under control.
One of the annoying girls in my 7 AM class showed up drunk for her 21st birthday and just auctioned off her fake ID.
This may be a weird question to ask someone who is 21 years old, but are you grounded?
Hi you snuggled with me in my bed in a maid outfit
Bourbon is too strong for my cat, he does not want to drink it
i like beer, sex, and cooking. what more can he want?
You did what with his pubic hair?
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
