Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
I wish I had more reasons to start sentences with the phrase, "Here's the thing you've got to remember about cougars ...
I'm torn. Shes everything I ever wanted, but I just cant get past the story about having drunken sex with her dog in high school.
Acid is not a monday night drug
i just made my gag reflex go away.
He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
I can't drink with the moms anymore. All they talk about is lactating.
Just out of curiosity. Did you wait until my fb picture was well liked by others before liking it so people won't know we're fucking?
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
First of all you can never say anal too much. Second I now think you're a total gentleman.
Rarely has that paragraph ever been put together
I told him I was on the pill and it was OK to fire away. I want to never have to wear panty house or ever go to an office again. This is my early retirement plan. I want half of his NBA money.
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
My booty call is in the theater watching Deadpool right now. Never though comics would work against me.
I checked her ID this morning. Lets just say...she's older than my mom
Randomize
