I'm either going to be a Playboy Playmate or take over the world. Either way the world wins.
I've officially put my junk in foods from 5 of the 6 layers of the nutrition pyramid
I used a physics textbook to prop her up so she wouldn't choke on her vomit...see I have learned something from statics class.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
Blacked out last night, but left myself a note that said "oops on oops on oops" that can never be a positive
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
I had a dream that my roommate walked in on me masturbating and I hissed "I'm not stopping this orgasm train for the likes of you" and just kept going
He wore pink swim trunks on our date and repeatedly insulted my profession, but his cat kept standing up like a person to nuzzle my face and I felt like a Disney Princess. I hate this dude, but the cat is too amazing for me to not fake interest for.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
Please explain the hospital band on my wrist.
My roommate just yelled at me for coughing. I'd like to yell at her for doing lines off our counter last night.
It's a novelty for anyone to see a girl like me in a skirt like this milking a cow
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
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