If i could tip my vagina, i would.
tonight is proof that a xbox 360 will always be more reliable than a girl ever will
and a girl gets the red ring of death every month
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
my phone cant type all the emotion im having
It's refreshing to see you in something that is stained with something other than vomit and spilled alcohol.
My dinner guests were so drunk they never realized that I inadvertantly put Frosted Mini Wheats on the salad instead of crutons.
Have fun at school today. Try to hide that you're a whore. The other girls will like you better that way.
After blacking out and loosing my phone for a month, I found it in the parking lot across the street. Last text "rager in the street". I remember none of this.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
She said she forgot something.. and when she came out she was carrying a garden gnome, and a bottle of vodka. she was too hot to question it.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize