I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
I don't think its a good idea if I moon a whole bar again
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
I want to frame my negative pregnancy test.
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
I've done unspeakable things to your penis. I have every right to give it a name.
Drinking down Plan B with a 5 hour energy. Winding down welcome week in style.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
Admittedly shitfaced... I have two questions. 1)why is the fan in my bathroom on? (Sub-text: is there a ghost?). 2) is your underwear really argyle?
You really need to not quote Anchorman while I'm giving you a serious blowjob.
I feel like with a dick like that he could of done more with it
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