we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
So it's like pop-o-matic trouble, but with penises
my head feels like I tried to put alcohol out of business last night
I'm sorry, but you without makeup is like christmas without presents.
You'd think with all the porn he watches he'd be a little better at this...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
yesterday, he said he didn't trust me around his daughter because "if she was wrapped in rolling paper u'd smoke her." yup.
Hangovers were designed by God when he decided that so far he had taken it WAY TOO EASY on me.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
I AM HANGING OUT WITH ADORABLE DOGS SURROUNDED BY NATURE. GOD BLESS AMERICA AND ALSO BYE CIVILIZATION AND PANTS.
Are you at a park?
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
I'm not saying I'm planning to hook up tomorrow but I'm also not saying I'm unprepared for it
Randomize
