whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
just had amazing sex with a girl I got caught with in second grade playing doctor. her examination is finallllly over
his fiance had made him a calendar of pictures of her. he asked if he should take it down and i said no. i wanted her to watch.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Congratulations, your dick has been selected to participate in my birthday sex. Please reply with a response.
Do I have a choice?
I am sorry, you're response was not recognized. Please try again.
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
Just watched a guy ride a bike off his roof into his pool. On my way to the liquor store, picking you up in 20
Dropping acid was like seeing the whole world as a blank canvas to imagine anything I wanted.
And apparently all you wanted was to watch the sun explode and me take 60,000 dicks to the face.
Easter bunny might get some gnarly munches and not even have enought candy left to hand out
Currently looking up Winnie-the-Pooh porn.
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
Are you alone?
No, but I have to leave him in my bed while I go on this date.
You were sober bartending last night right?
Sorta. I remember you crying, ripping rose petals off the flower stem and slowly sprinkling them behind the bar at me and singing softly
Romantic
Randomize
