CNN just did a special on how to do heroin safely.. I recorded it for us
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
I just couldn't load the family groceries on to the same seat where I had sex 12 hours ago.
he was cumming and all I could think about was the pathway of sperm the in penis. thanks a lot nursing
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
There's a bus with a band full of dancing women in bras. I think I like it here.
Munching saltines, sippin Gatorade, and trying not to get eaten by this small horse
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I just spontaneously learned how to embroider at three in the morning.
I also almost burned the house down in the process. Don't ask me how. It's a long story.
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
I just made out with his twin, technically it's the same person..... Right?
My hairdresser won’t do keratin treatments because of the toxins, but will put ecstasy up her butt at festivals...
Randomize
