just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
nobody understood you. You kept speaking french and hiding shit in your boobs
he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
she vomitted in her champagne, said "fuck it, it's new years", and continued drinking.
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
All I really remember is thinking that the music looked like beautiful lizard waves in my head
It's all good, I've hated people for lesser reasons than being my ex boyfriend's favorite pro athlete of all time
I have a big to do list for you. Number 1 - me. Number 2 - drink wine 3. Talk my ears off. 4. Me again
I forced myself to puke in my garbage can, and the next day I bought a new one and burnt the old one. You could say it was a rough night
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
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