Just saw the homeless asian lady making a hispanic man pull her shopping cart with a harness. I love Boston.
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
i just farted in a meeting....took me completely by surprise.
so you made the shocked face and they caught you.
yup.
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
then again I'm sitting on a tree stump completely naked in the dark listening to some type of glee soundtrack.
Europeans suck. I just gave him head and somehow i am the one paying for the coffee
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
"The juvenile turned and faced the officer, unzipped his pants, placed a fresh cigarette in between his legs and preceded to light it with a match"
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
Also not to brag but I got high last night and got us a host family in a chateau in the south of France
NO. NONE OF THAT. SHAME ON YOU.
I just woke up, its 6AM and i'm pretty sure the guy passed out next to me is 70% ugly...
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
