Just made ouyt with a dude on the real wporld...I said I dont want my face blired out
just accidentally masturbated with tiger balm. best. accident. ever.
I'm picking out a half way decent top so if I get arrested I'll have a respectable mug shot photo. Always be prepared.
We have to talk through the words with friends chat so his gf won't find out
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Yeah, it kinda sucks. But it was fun while it lasted. And honestly, his penis is way too big for my life.
He left his phone. Turns out he;s been sexting with some girls who can't spell. Time to break out the herpes scare.
So it turns out "let's pretend to be gay so guys will stop hitting on us" was step one in her plan to get me into bed...
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
IM BACK TOGETHER WITH MY BF AND HERE YOU ARE SUCKING DICK FROM 2009
It's almost like sex was the ice breaker and now we're sociable at the gym
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
I'm noticing I drink less and do fewer lines when I do both together.
Now that's what I call smart money management.
Randomize
