hey in girl talk does "want to come over tonight and have some beers with me?" mean i want wiener?
She called me Spock and proceeded to ask me to 'teach her the ways of the force'. I just couldn't do it after that. No way am I fucking a girl who can't tell the difference between Star Wars and Star Trek.
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
He took naked pictures of me and told me if I ever got to the Disney Channel level of fame he would help me out. I think i'm in love
That's like lying to my vagina. I can't betray it like that.
I vaguely remember telling a bum she was worth more than this
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
You can't die you're my only democrat family member
I'm not drinking for the rest of the week. I need discipline, celery, dick, and a bible.
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
Unless it has to do with ramen, goldfish, cheese, or rugby, don't talk to me.
Just when I thought we may have our first low-key night together, I sang an Aladdin karaoke song to a bunch of roller derby girls, you took shots with married women, and we both fell asleep in our offices.
Randomize
