I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
They both told everyone they fell in a mud puddle
Oh they definetly fell in the mud, repeatedly, on top of each other
Get everyone out of their dorms and watch 3 girls do the walk of shame from my room.
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
I got head to The Nanny. Officially gay.
bad night - i tried for naughty librarian but could only manage to pull off pissed off barrista.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
There was this blissful moment of peace and quiet... then you ran past our window with a lit firecracker in hand going, "SHIT. SHIT. SHIT!"
I did stay at work til 5 but for the last hour I was just taking naked pics on my desk for some tinder guy
He fucked me so well and hard that the couch slid into the Christmas tree. I had to pull branches out of my hair.
Her mom came down to the basement and took shots with us. She's now passed out in a wheel barrow. This party got weird
Me and my girlfriend were watching porn together..... it got awkward cause I kept getting notifications from my family on Facebook
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Theres a woman here with grey hair that im pretty sure i would have sex with
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