the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
dude, i just saw a bobcat while i was rollerblading this morning
1 dont ever text someone @ 8am on sat. 2 dont ever admit to rollerblading past 1992.
I'm sitting by the window waiting for the sun to go down so that I can start drinking.
he offered to walk down from the bar this morning to my house and bring me a guinness...
how romantic. its the irish mans version of flowers
Someone apparently named 'eleaw' just text me asking if I had fun last night.
judging by my wet hair I would guess I showered at the bartenders apt last night?
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
quick, send me a pic of a fat chick eating ice cream in a bikini. no joke, no questions, just do it.
dude Steve you don't even know. its just been one hairy asshole after another.
This Alex the guy who suck your belly ring
If I get a 4.0 I am doing SO much cocaine.
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Had a very good bday. Have the teeth marks and bruises to prove it
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
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