90% of the problems in your life are directly related to your vagina
Just saw a girl trying to crack an egg with her butt cheeks. I think I know what we're doing thursday night.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
i'm sitting in the second floor bathroom drinking coronas in the shower. do not find me.
Whoever was the last to get in from the chinese firedrill had to pay the dealer.
I'm a busy girl. All I wanted was noncommittal sex a few times a week
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
Dude how about today while I was on lunch someone died in the break room at work....I didn't even know we had a break room!!
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