Canada is now making docos about life in America. Its called Trailer Park Boys.
im pretty sure every drug dealer is going to be able to retire the day after alice in wonderland comes out
woke up in nothing but a glued-on tiger tail. they used super glue.
Did you know that if you hit someone in the head with a frozen loaf of bread you can knock them unconscious?
how many thumbs am i supposed to have at one time
you found the shrooms didnt you
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
There's something very strange about masturbating in a hotel room. I feel like I'm cheating on my room...
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
This is what my life has come to. Like, I may or may not have just stolen pizza from the guy I just hooked up with's fridge when I left...
She said you told her you were ready to be a dad. We just got back from our purchase of the morning after pill. That took me 2 hours of convincing. No more fucking my sister.
1. Thanks. 2. No.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
Booty called 3 guys from my hospital bed
if people come over to pregame will you hide my Oreos?
I begin to question your sobriety when you both left here shirtless, with beers in one hand and shotguns in the other
Randomize
