whats a polygalesbian?
lesbian polygamists..duh.
two pink lines on a pregnancy test is bad, isn't it?
only if you didn't want to fuck up your life.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
good news. according to wikipedia, my blackout might just have been "post-trauma amnesia"
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Drunbk and roasting marshmallows on my stove. Accidentally singed the catr's fur but she'sd alright.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
Apparently the Massachusetts Bay Transit Authority severely looks down on Chinese firedrills on a public bus
Yeah but the people love.
So, settle a debate for my housemates. Have you measured your dick. And how long. Results Will not be disclosed
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
You are cordially invited to an I'm not pregnant laser tag celebration tomorrow. booze is optional.
"my nose is broken but I'm beer pong champ so it evens out really"
I should be trashily making out with an air force cadet in the beach volleyball court by now
Randomize
