i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
Got a basket, 50 condoms, some candy, 100 plastic eggs & my bunny costume. Campus will feel my wrath in 2 weeks
My epitaph should read "Margaritas: she never learned"
Everytime I sleep with him he gives me another hint to what his tattoo means. I'm like a slutty Nancy Drew.
We had sex in the tent after his 6th beer and while we were at it we had conversations with the people outside the tent.
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
We're both on the slippery slope toward middle age...and really shame riddled bar experiences
he had me stop mid-blow job to make me use my phone to id a song on the radio..
i wasnt really sure how to responde to that.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I have discovered my latent superpower. If a friend is dating a bi chick they will inevitably try and talk me into a threesome.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I guess I look like the kind of girl who would buy edible, weed-infused lube.
I'm so high that hamburger just went up my nose. Mustard BURNS
we had sex while we waited for the thai food... a which will come first type of situation
just used my $120 dollar stats book for the first time to kill an ant... good thing i stole it
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