The police are arresting two women who got in a fight for the last Twilight DVD at Best Buy. Classic.
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
Also, never say you're cool with a threesome if they ask. That shit's a trap.
I just ate four packages of Swiss Rolls. Being high and on food stamps is AHmazing.
You know were out to late when I call my hook up at 8:08pm and 8:08am in the same night.
The entire time I'm blowing him she's in the back seat lecturing me on the reasons why you're not suppose to do that while they're driving...
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
I've fucked 6 of my brothers' friends. I'm completely fine with him fucking the girl we ate lunch with.
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Pretty sure that propositioning you to fly across the country for sex fest '13 isn't something my husband would approve of.
I'm pretty sure that's why we have such good sex because we are secretly trying to kill each other
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
I don't know what kind of bucket list you have, but having sex with a tree isn't on mine...
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