I am about to be in my happy place. (the shower with a 6 pack)
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
I don't know ur idea of a good first date but I'm pretty sure it shouldn't include him holding my hair while I puke in the street
fact: I now appreciate my drunken winter self even more. I just found $20 in my winter coat with a note that says keep yourself warm next winter. I am awesome.
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
Watching her eat just hurts me
That kid i sell weed to just had his mom give him a ride over here she waited in the car while he bought a bag
I have learned that if you don't want to hook up with the guy who walked you home, food is great compensation.
At the drs she looked at my back saw your scratch marks and asked "does your back itch a lot?"
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Well puke fest 2014 just happened
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
Randomize
