She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
I'm bringing poparts in case anyone gets hungry. The trek to frat row is strenuous.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
I want him to be the Hulk to my Brooke Hogan this Halloween. Can I ask him to be my daddy this weekend?
Only if you say it like that.
So he was supposed to be helping me with my math but instead we ended up drinking coconut rum in his basement and having sex. I think my mom was right, getting a tutor will be good for me. Relieves the stress.
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
he's definitely still old enough to be your dad. even your grandfather, if you come from a line of juvenile delinquents
Rule #61 of being a lady: never get fingered by a finger with a knuckle tattoo
So like, boobs.
are you really going to start every conversation like that?
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Homophobes nationwide are huddled in their bunkers tonight and I can't stop giggling. Could be the wine.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
I have no idea what to do with myself since we graduated.
I've just been napping and sexting all day.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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