She went from zero to smokin in five shots
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
do you remember waking up from your blackout, kissing me ever so softly on the stomach, and saying "i love you bro. so much," then passing back out?
he came up my nose again i swear he does this just to piss me off
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
he likes to slap my ass alot untill he missed and hit his own balls poor bastard kept on going.
I found out you can't leave the bar with a drink. I also found out that pouring it on the bouncers shoes is also unacceptable.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I already ran out of vodka but I have more beer. I just ran naked into the high school party down the street as took all theirs. ...figured no one wants to tackle the naked guy..
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
Either I think of sex like a man, or all the men in Vegas are women.
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
I got titty fucked last night and you're breastfeeding your newborn. Clearly we have gone two totally different paths since 2011.
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Randomize
