JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
My entire floor is waiting for the couple to come out of the shower. She's a screamer. We've blockaded them
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
I dont think a "sorry ive slept with most of your teammates" text will do much
There's cake. And donuts. And strippers. It's like 5 year old me and 20 year old me are throwing a party together...
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
I sent two dick pics to a wrong number and one was in .gif format so it was helicoptering all over the place. I single handedly ruined a child's life.
This is America. Thomas Jefferson would have said I want some vagina.
They are taking turns pissing on the fire. This is my life.
Nothing says love like couples STD testing
Nothing says breakup like the results
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
He was peeing on the back wall of a building. He would have been okay if the building hadn't been a police station.
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
i read his ps3 instant messaging thing... he's meeting a guy to have sex. i think your boyfriend's gay
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