I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
U know u have sex too much when u have lube in ur rolliball on ur blackberry
You two were too busy to notice that his used condom landed on me when he threw it.. Thanks.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
This is probably the only time in my life I'm going to be able to say I'm going to the hospital too smoke weed and play Mario kart.
You didn't even properly utilize my pigtails.
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
I vaguely remember hanging my bra off the ceiling fan and chugging a beer during sex
College has turned you into quite the multi tasker huh?
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
Then you're three pancakes deep in regret.
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
He made me a flamingo drink and now I don't know why things are the way they are.
What are you gunna do with your life today
put it back together
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Randomize
