oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
I'm talking handstands, sex in broad daylight, waking me up in the middle of the night. CRAZY
handstands? WTF?
she was a gymnast
go to hell.
You know ure stoned when u start thinking about making a bacon smoothie
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
Hey man, sorry I chased you around the house with a small table.
The last thing I remember is stabbing him with his diabetes medicine
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
Nothing quite says Coachella like me doing high yoga in the middle of a field by myself
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
Come to this bar
But I'm full of food.
MAKE ME FULL OF YOUR DICK
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
It's not stalking if you do it on LinkedIn...
He sent me off with a naked dance ending in a meat swing. I don't think I'll be seeing him again.
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
Randomize
