I will be home in 10 min. Dont be beating off on the couch
enter at your own risk
I think I am morally bankrupt
He was so confused why there was a string hanging out of my vagina.
Nothing like hearing a USA chant while getting head. God bless America.
In fact, not a good idea to go into any house alone after a man invites you in from his balcony.
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
I hear the sound of that stray bird you rescued from the kitchen but am too busy drunkenly masturbating to feed it
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Why do I like him? He literally has no redeeming qualities.
I just walked by a dude at the gym covering himself in olive oil.
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
So I remember having an orgasm, but I didn't wake up next to anyone. Your dog is afraid of me. Is this a sick joke?
she passed out standing next to the car. her head hit the door so hard the alarm went off. she instantly snapped out of it and started sprinting away
Randomize
