They have a guy from new zealand living under their stairs.. they don't charge him rent. He just buys food and booze and bartends their house parties.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
I've slept in a different bed every day this week. Operation Ho Ho Ho is a success!
We need to get you laid. Or i fear you might explode like a firework of sexual innuendos and unfulfilled erotic fantasies.
Can we pretty pretty please go to Mardi Gras tomorrow? I promise I'll be a good girl and not puke in a pledges car
We should. Taco Bell definitely gives me the shits though.
It's girls night. No shame, just febreeze
That Kevin guy is something else...His penis is fucking glorious. And he has a way with words. If he lived here I'd be the conductor of the fuck caboose. I mean literally I would never want to get off that thing.
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
We have had more Sex in the past 48 hours then we have in the past 3 months. I think it was from me dressing up as Darth Vader.
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
jump out the window naked night went bad
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
