I just stepped on my own foot and apologized to my shoe... THAT high.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Don't play hard to get, I've seen some of the girls you've slept with.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
From one hot mess to another... Get it together.
While randomly hooking up with my neighbor last night he says "it's okay we're neighbors".
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
This is the second time this month a hookup cried when I left...bro get your shit together bar does NOT equal wife 😬
Same encounter she body slammed me to the floor and than humped me
ever feel bored AND lazy?
I call it "awake" but yeah...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
What does "mood AF" mean?
Mood as fuck.
Why did you comment that on a video of a gorilla throwing its own shit?
Randomize
