I just didn't expect you to be so naked....
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
Getting too drunk for the hot dog vendor to serve me is possibly a sign of an alcohol problem. I threw up in the sewer grates next to his stand
Dude just slipped a $20 into the jukebox at that restaurant we were escorted out of last Mardi GRAS. Hope they enjoy Justin Bieber's Baby cause they're gonna hear it 40 fucking times.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Her mom offered to give me a lap dance. I was a guest, I couldn't say no.
I woke up and the only 2 bowls I own were shattered on my floor. Pretty sure my hand and tailbone are broken and I have no idea what the fuck happened
Shut the fuck up. It's not the end of the world. Now come get your asshole bleached with me or we're not roommates anymore.
Apparently hitting a bong with your mouth half numb is hilarious but frustrating!
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
I HAD SEX WITH COLBY AND HIS FIVE YEAR PLAN IS TO STEAL A REALLY EXPENSIVE PAINTING AND ASKED ME IF ID BE INTO HELPING HIM AND I WOKE UP IN HIS BED TO A WOMANS TUBE TOP NEXT TO ME
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