So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
i was so high last night while i was driving i felt like i was riding a bike with no pedals
For what it's worth, your chances of anal go up the more she loves you. There's always a silver lining.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
Toga everclear = hospital visit... Im sure the paramedics hate me right now
I don't care how high you are, you can't finger me while eating potato chips.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
I will never in my life forget you letting the cat lick your tongue
I've liked him since I puked on him on my birthday so I want it to be special.
I'm driving to his house to eat chicken and hopefully have an orgasm
You have to give it to him that he fucked me out of the dull weekdays.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
6 hours ago I jacked off a a guy for $100. I explained it away as "compensation" for gas and tolls. WHAT am I doing with my life? Quickest and easiest $100 I ever made though, haha
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize