I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
just took a shot of grandma at the fucking bowling alley... this is going to be interesting
I wasn't fucked. I was just drunk, because i was still able to walk into the woods and masterbate.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
Disney World has no open container laws. Ohmygod this place is even cooler than it was when I was ten.
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
keep an eye on me. i'm afraid that after a few more drinks i'll ask to borrow his wheelchair.
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
At what point during this road trip should I let them know I've been drinking in the backseat the whole time and can't take my turn driving?
Could someone please explain the rug burn on the right side of my face and do I need a shot of penicillin?
Check the mailbox while you're out!
I already looked this morning. You go check and see what you won on Ebay after your day drinking spree.
I have bad memories with every alcohol but we manage to work through the problems for the good of the relationship
Do you have a moment to talk about our lord and savior, Kendra's boobs?
Oh shit that's not good dude. I'd head straight for Williamsport hospital the first ingredient in that shit is lithium batteries. You don't want to know what the second one is
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