Yeah....I really appreciate it....I didn't even get it from hooking up....lame, atleast if a girl gets u sick when u r hooking up it was fun in its inception...
Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
She went to college and exploded out of the slut closet.
She wouldn't stop saying her own name. Like a damn pokemon.
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
If I remember who won the superbowl tomorrow morning.. I think I'm just going to quit drinking. There really won't be a point anymore
Under no circumstances is it ok to do naked cartwheels in front of anyone. i don't care how much ecstasy you took
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I feel badly that he has cancer, but this does not mean I am obligated to have sex with him. Again.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
Dear Andy-the problem is not that I slept with your girlfriend, it's that you didn't know she's a lesbian.
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